Life of the Reverse Butterfly

6 days since my last post, you’d think much hasn’t changed. Oh but it has.

Rereading my last post makes me feel a bit foolish in that I thought insecurity/jealousy was the worst of my problems. I consider myself a little more sensitive and emotional than the average guy but this past week has knocked me for a loop.

The relationship I spoke of in my prior post has hit a rocky moment the size of Mt. Fuji. In no particular order, I’d like to have kids, and be married. The other half of what I call “us”, doesn’t want either anymore. She’s also getting back into religion (I don’t fault her for that)… and as such she feels guilt during our sexual escapades and that guilt holds her back from “getting there”. So now not only does she not want kids nor marriage… she feels guilty for having sex and no longer wants to have sex. Do you see the problem here?

I don’t fully understand or grasp the situation I have in front of me… but I feel like I’m fighting a losing battle… or fighting a battle I shouldn’t be in. I love her so much and want to be with her, I want her to feel comfortable with me… but as time progresses it seems as if either (my insecurity/jealousy might be kicking in) she doesn’t want me and is using my key “goals” in life to drive me to end it OR she just really doesn’t know what she wants in life. In either case, it’s a dismal future, I want to hang in there (hanging tough) and see what happens because if I walk away I’ll be denying how I feel about her.

Anyone have some insight I might be missing here?

ReNEW Relationship for Mark

I’ve recently started a new relationship… well a “renewed” relationship and it feels as if we started where we left off (great). I’ve been pretty nervous about the whole thing though because we ended things the last time around because she still had some baggage in her life that needed to be dropped off at Goodwill, or… the dumpster. Whatever.

The unsettling nervousness every once in a while manifests itself into full on doubt. I’ve been through enough to know that doubt is not a good thing to have when in a relationship, it leads to bigger problems and inevitably bites you in the ass.

I don’t have trust issues with her. I wholeheartedly and completely trust her. I believe it’s more insecurity on my part than trust which is not a trait to be admired. She’s aware of my insecurity for the most part maily because I tend to make it obvious at times. I’m just afraid that, to her, I might come off as weak. When in actuality my insecurity tends to give me strength to withstand so many of lifes lessons.

From the outsiders perspective our first time dating, if you could call it that, things went blazingly fast. I stayed over all the time, we cooked dinner together quite a bit, and the 3 words came out… all within less than a month. After typing that out, it does seem even a little fast to me.

Like I said, we’ve picked up where we left off… except we’ve slowed down a few notches. I’m not always at her place, we do spend a lot of time together(to be expected), but we also have our time to ourselves. We talk everyday and tend to stay on the phone with eachother for longer than 20-30 minutes at a time yet we live about 10-15 miles apart.

I know I am in love with her, I know I want to do everything we can together (travel, sight-see, vacation spots)… you know create a well-deserved history with eachother. I think the only thing holding me back is the past situation(baggage) because it doesn’t lend well to her dedication. She’s aware of what’s holding me back and understands my hesitance… I guess I just need to find a way to move on. I need some suggestions.

Blogging Trends: The Future of the Blogosphere

As of April 2007, Technorati via David Sifry’s The State of the Blogosphere, shows over 72 million blogs being tracked and over 120 thousand blogs being created everyday. 1.2 million new blogs and 14 million new posts in a matter of 10 days, simply amazing.

Who are these bloggers, what are they writing about, how much is repeat content and how many of them have other blogs? There are no easy answers but one thing is for certain. With the increased spread of broadband connections, increased population, and the unwavering pursuit of ______ (belonging/happiness/money aka fill in the blank) are crucial factors in this constant surge of webloggery. Anyone can blog, so they blog.

What is the Future of the Internet when it comes to blogging?

No one can say for certain, but I speculate that blog directories will become the next big web application if they can aggregate ALL information on any given subject from ALL websites (not just weblogs) in an encyclopedic type of entry. Essentially turning everyone into a contributor of this dynamic web book of knowledge.

Understanding how this is all going to take place in no easy task, but it is inevitable. Are you ready?

2 Questions to consider when Blogging

What makes you stay and read a blog at length? What does it take to gain [tag]loyal readers[/tag]? These are the only two real questions you need to ask yourself when you consider starting a blog. I asked myself these questions and the answers I’ve provided pretty much cover the basics of any successful blogger.

So what makes you stay on a site and read a blog…

• It teaches you something
• It is entertaining
• It confirms your knowledge
• or it disproves your knowledge

What does it take to earn loyal readers?

• You have to teach something
• You have to entertain
• You have to confirm for readers
• or you have to disprove readers

Consider the answers provided; Do you have what it takes to become a blogger(for income or leisure). Of course you do! You might shoot yourself in the foot along the way but you learn by doing not waiting and watching. This is especially in the blogging “scene”.

Can feasibly teach a single subject to someone? If you know how to create toothpick art or discovered a way to iron your clothes while wearing them without getting burned, then you my friend have a [tag]niche[/tag].

Clouded 3 Column WordPress Theme

A few days ago I released “Clouded” on bloggercamp.com and boy was I a bit frantic. Clouded was only my second publicly released theme… ever and after some feedback I realized how broken of a theme it was.

Clouded didn’t perform as expected and for some was broken from the start. I revamped it a little to at least make it functional for most, and updated the listing to let people know how to use Clouded.

I still have plans to revisit the theme and do a “from the ground up” overhaul of the functions, css, and WordPress constructs within the templates. Check out the theme though and let me know what you think.

theme design, wordpress themes, 3 column, clouded wordpress theme.

WordPress Theme Design Roadblocks and Pitfalls

Being that I am a semi-seasoned WordPress Theme Designer; I’ve stumbled along the path of designer enlightenment, through the valley of death, and still ended out a little frazzled but decidely okay. During my journey as a WP Theme Designer wannabe I’ve hit a few snags, hiccups, roadblocks and pitfalls.

Have I learned from my mistakes? Yes and No, I still make a few stupid mistakes here and there… but I’m hoping that by documenting them here, I might be able to persuade you to think a bit differently about WordPress Theme Design.

1. DO NOT release a theme without testing it in several major browsers. I personally use http://www.browsershots.org for all my testing, as well as my own local machine (how to install WordPress on your local machine).
2. When testing a theme, test all your pages (i.e. archives.php, page.php, single.php) all of them. You’d be surprised how much you can miss CSS wise with your templates.
3. Ask a few friends to test out your theme, wethere locally or a few minutes on their own site… criticism is good, no matter how harsh the words.
4. Widgetize or die. ‘Nuff said.
5. If you are creating custome category pages, archive pages, or single pages… ensure that you test all your functions before you distribute a WordPress Theme.

I’m sure there’s more, but this is all I can think of off the top of my head. Comments and additions welcome!

theme design, wordpress themes.

First Post on my WordPress.com account

Hi all,

My name is Mark Penix and I run a fledgling little blog at Bloggercamp.com that is based around WordPress theme development, design, and implementation.

My WordPress.com blog will be used as a personal blog for topics that I either don’t see fit for bloggercamp.com, or ones that require a different sort of audience.

A few lines about me:

• 25 year old, Male, Sagittarius
• Omaha, Nebraska
• Boeing Employee, US Air Force Veteran
• Likes: Honda CRX, Web Design, and Guitar

Any questions?